these things we carry

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It's taken me all month to post during it because for Sarah & I every day we are very much aware of it. Every day is a reminder of what she's been through. It was hell.

I still remember the day she was diagnosed. I was a ball of rage and seething anger. I wanted to fight the world. I was frustrated and lost. We sat together in our living room and cuddled. I went to the basement and punched the brick wall, then a metal post and repeated that. I didn't even feel physical pain at that point. I was blank.

In a matter of seconds, with one simple word, we were thrust into something very scary. There was no instruction manual for us to get through this. No how-to guide. We were strangers in a strange land. Along the way though, we sort of figured it out. We got through.

We learned a lot. Not just about what we value, but we found out a lot about ourselves. What we can endure...both emotionally and physically. I learned that the girl I met at a concert 13 years ago was stronger than any one I ever met. She was relentless.

To pay tribute to her I got a tattoo of an anchor with the words "be relentless" on it. The anchor because, she's been my anchor for the past 13 years but through all this she has been it more than ever.

So, while October closes out, we encourage you all to remain aware. Women, check yourselves, regardless of family history.