To hell and back...(or how we spent our BUMMER vacation)

A lot has happened since that last blog update. The fever that had sent me into a late night scramble two weeks ago didn't go away, in fact it got much worse and Sarah wound up going to the emergency room that Friday, which was the 7th. What we thought was going to be a routine visit for a minor case of pneumonia wound up being a twelve day Hell Ride.

It was scary shit. I think I may have slept a total of ten hours in the span of those twelve days. During her twelve day stay she had a battery of tests, scans and biopsies. Her will to forge on was pushed to its limits and beyond. There were times when she questioned herself. There were times when she didn't know how much more she could take. There were times when she didn't think she'd make it out. But in the end her motto of "be relentless" rang true. She's a cancer warrior. A tough cookie and the most remarkable person I know.

She was immediately given a arsenal of antibiotics, one of which was a nasty little fucker called Vancomycin. This stuff was absolute garbage. It gave her what's known as Red Man Syndrome, a condition that caused her skin to become beet red and actually INCREASED her body temperature. I hated when she was on that. She hated it.

I went to work Monday, got out a bit earlier then expected and went home to prepare things around the house thinking she'd be home by Tuesday. I went back to the hospital and saw her at her worst. She had these awful chills that would cause her whole body to shake violently. Her head felt super hot yet she kept saying how cold she was. It was terrifying. Then out of nowhere the chills would stop and her fever would drop a few degrees. This happened a few times each day for the first few days.

After a few days of antibiotics bringing about no solutions, they moved to the option of performing a bronchoscopy. Basically they put a camera down your airway and into the lungs to check for foreign bodies, inflammation or fluid. That procedure went well. It didn't produce an answer, but rather ruled out a few things. After she was wheeled out she mistook an Aquafina machine for a Good Humor Ice Cream machine...ah, the wonders of anesthesia.

While waiting on the biopsy from that test, we learned that her kidneys were coming back with high levels of creatinine. Just what we needed to hear, right? More medical jargon. More scary terminology. When you hear things like: "renal failure" your mind goes into overdrive. "What the hell is creatinine?" I wondered. Good thing I have an iPhone. I was able to use the Google machine to it's fullest. Turns out, those high creatinine levels were do in large to that Vancomycin garbage, so thanks Internet. As soon as she was pulled off of that her levels returned to normal.

After it was determined that it was not in fact pneumonia or an infection in the lungs, they went to a transesophageal echocardiogram. Again, she had to basically swallow an extension cord so they can get a good view of the heart. They wound up finding a clot in her heart which was being caused by her Medi-Port where she gets her chemo injections. Turns out the catheter from the port was causing the thrombus (blood clot). The port was removed and she has been put on blood thinners. She'll remain on them for some time now and they'll reexamine the blood clot in a few months.

I can't imagine the utter hell she went through. I know it was tough enough for me just seeing her go through it. Twelve days, man. Can you imagine? She told me chemotherapy is nothing compared to what she was going through with the fevers and chills.

I've stated several times now that the most frustrating part of my wife having cancer is the utter helplessness on my end. The fact that i can't do anything to make it better and this stint in the hospital only amplified that dread. At night I would stay there and just stare at her while she attempted to sleep. I'd count her breaths. I'd check her head for a fever every hour. When I'd go home to go take care of the pets, I'd drive in silence. I wanted to shut myself off from the world outside. I just wanted her to get better. And somehow, she did.

There's much more I want to cover, but right now her and I have some serious cuddling time to catch up on. And that to me is the biggest thing I've missed over the past week and a half.

As always, BE RELENTLESS.