The thing about cancer...

Since being diagnosed with breast cancer Sarah has always tried to remain as positive as possible. Nothing seemed to bring her down. Every obstacle she's faced since that awful day in January, she's faced with an amazing sense of optimism.So, when chemotherapy began to take her hair she did the next logical step...shave it off.

I know it had to have been a difficult decision for her to make, but she was fed up with waking up in the morning and finding clumps of hair on her pillow. So when she asked me to do the deed, I went about it with the utmost care. I mean, its not like when I shave my brothers head and I can take certain liberties (like leaving his hair in a Mr. Burns style for hours before I finish shaving the rest). For Sarah, I had to be gentle...it was an emotionally draining event for us both, but when it was all over Sarah actually was happy with the new 'do. I have to say, underneath all that hair, she has a great shaped head. Hair or no hair...I love my Beanz with all my heart.

I'll never fully understand what she's going through. I can only stand by her side and be strong for her. And that's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I can only hope that I'm being a supportive husband.

This cancer bullshit aggravates me. She's too young to have to go through this. But I know that she'll beat this. I know she will because she has the love and support of friends and family. I know she'll beat this because she's getting the proper care and treatment. I know she'll beat this because she's the strongest person I know.

...be relentless.

...and so it begins...

Sarah begins chemotherapy tomorrow. It's something that no one "looks forward to" with a traditional sense of anticipation, yet it's something that needs to be done. It needs to be done so that she can rid her body of this dreadful disease. It won't be pleasant. I've said it before and I'll say it again: it's going to suck like nothing has ever sucked before.

Yesterday was a tough day for me. We went over the informational packets about all the treatments she'd be receiving and I just broke down a bit. I feel like a selfish jackass for crying the way I did. I'm not supposed to show weakness. For one, I'm a man -- weakness isn't supposed to be in our DNA code -- that's just the way it is and the way it has been since the dawn of time. But also, I'm supposed to be "her rock." I can't do that if I'm a crying mess. That's not fair to her. It's something I need to work on. I need to be strong for her.

Tomorrow is going to be tough. It's just the start of things, but the quicker we get this started, the faster it will be over. This is what "be relentless" is all about. She's going to rock this.

Great news everybody

It's been a crazy few weeks since my last true update. Sarah has been back and forth to doctor's appointments in preparation for her treatments. She had a MUGA scan which showed her heart as at peak perfection, but I could have told you that. The kid has a heart of gold.

I promised good news and I'll get right down to it.

Sarah had a bone and a CT (CAT) scans. All came back negative for cancer cells. This is a beautiful dose of news, man. It's what we needed and it couldn't have come at a better time as the road ahead is going to be tough. It's going to suck like nothing else has ever sucked before, but when it's all said and done, Sarah is going to come out on top. I guarantee that. She's going to get her treatment, she's going to fight like hell and beat this. Mark my words.

Next week begins the chemotherapy...six months of it. Sarah is ready. I'm ready. She has an amazing group of people around her. We'll get through this and like she said, we'll go on to live a more amazing life after it.

Each day I wake up, I think of ways I can do something to make her proud. That's my goal with our Ride for Roswell team; Beanz Brigade. I want it to be awesome. I'm doing that team for her. This blog, this is for her. I want her to know how much she means to me. Sure I can tell her, but I want to show her. I want to show everyone. She's remarkable and beautiful and I'm a lucky guy to have her. It might be corny of me to say this, but so be it: She is my inspiration.

BE RELENTLESS.

ride for roswell

Here's the link for the Ride for Roswell.

Join Beanz Brigade!!!

http://giving.roswellpark.org/Page.aspx?pid=615&frtid=1842